Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Walking away from Love

love quotes | girl in love

The more I walk away from you,
The more I lose myself for you.

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

I Shed My Tears

love writing| mask

I shed my tears in form of words 
spiralling on a page 
as a snake sheds it skin 
dumping my rage
and the person I had been

                                         ©Beyond Horizon

Monday, January 8, 2018

Monster Within

Burning in fire of jealousy

A green-eyed monster

Jostled me from reverie

Escalades each day stronger

Devouring my bravery

Crippled, Conjured

I was foolish to believe

‘I would be okay’

Letting you go with her

© Beyond Horizon 

jealous poem
Image source : Pixabay

Friday, January 5, 2018

Don't Love Me - The Final Chapter

This was the day. She decided to take the control of her life in her hand. She was done with love. Actually she understood 'what love is' after this phase of life. It wasn't love. She wrote two letters: To Him and To 'You'.

To Him,

I loved you and you loved me. Well, actually I thought it was love. No, it never was love. What we have is 'attachment' and an attachment always end up in hurt. It was an illusion but all this time we were selfish to take 'something' from each other. I am not blaming you. I am the culprit in this too.

I gave you the switch of my happiness. You clicked it as you desired. I had no control over it. I am taking it back. In fact there wasn't any switch cause happiness always was and is within me. It was me who all this while believed my happiness depended on you. You laughed, I laughed. You cried, I cried. But I got carried away with this attachment. I cried, You watched from a distant. You blamed me for all the worldly unhappiness happening to you. 

Thank you for everything. This is a genuine Thank you. Why? Because I 'learned' from it. It made me the person who I am today. All of the dark, gloomy days I lived in was self-created. It was never you. It was always me. I was attached to you.

Love gives you wings. Even if there is a cage, love leaves the door open. Love wants to see your happiness. Resistance is not love. Blaming each other is not love. Holding each other in crisis is Love. Love may not cry with you, but it stays with you till the last drop of tear. 

Love is not 'attachment'. We are attached and this is what has made us prisoner of each others life. I am standing besides you due to obligations. If time comes, I will break those obligations without any fear.

Don't Love Me, Because It was never Love!

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

2017 – The Year that was

Looking back and turning pages of 2017 I can name the theme for the year as ‘Keep Yourself First’. Many will find it selfish but trust me guys if I hadn’t done that I would have perished in my own darkness.

I am not an actual definition of ‘introvert’ but I love being alone (not lonely), if anyone wants to gift me with something give me the time for myself – Solitude. I had many opportunities in 2017 and I grabbed every single of them.

Work has and is keeping me sane with the turmoil in other aspect of life. Truth be told I have stayed away from ‘clinical’ part of my work. My best colleague and friend still keep persisting me to ‘practice’ because of my clinical knowledge (not bragging at all). I have been trained under one of the best Psychotherapist & Counsellor (Dr.Minnu R. Bhonsle) in Mumbai and her words are enlightening– “Counselling is as effective as the counsellor is himself living effectively”. The day I live effectively I can help others to live theirs.

I had plans for blogging platform but I never forced myself to do them. I took it easy. I tried to catch up or rather staying ‘online’ on other social platforms but couldn’t do it. I won’t say I failed but I realized that I am not the person who wants to make her presence felt on social media every single day. Posting images of myself or my surroundings doesn’t come easy for me.

It was first time I mentioned about infertility in the post Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish and its effect on mental health. I took a step back from medications and all the stressful investigations related to infertility in 2017, which I must say helped me. Because I needed time to take crucial decision regarding the same which isn’t easy being a female.

Music and reading are the best companions in my highs and lows. I had set 15 books to read on Goodreads Reading Challenge which I did complete. 15 is low but considering I had not read even 5 books in a year in recent past is quite appreciable. 

My dream destination came true in May 2017. Kashmir! I have no words to describe the beauty of Kashmir, believe me. The warmth of Kashmiris will make you wonder and question, is this the most terror stricken place? They welcome you wholeheartedly and tourism being their main source of income people should visit it. We did experience the time of terrorism wherein we had been evacuated in midst of the night from the hotel (twice in a week). But the locals ensured we were safe.

I would like to quote here by Soumya of Life of Leo: “Every woman needs someone by her side who makes her feel strong, beautiful and cherished. This can be the partner, a friend or just the mirror.” For me it has been a friend, forever.

The last quarter of the year made me amazed. There were rush of emotions. Awe. Happy. Ecstasy. Regret. Guilt. Sadness. I drowned in and learned to swim within them. I choose my happiness even though there was selfishness in it. But for once I embraced it without any guilt.

31st December 2017 was memorable and there is only one person who knows the why. To sum it up- 2017 was dedicated for ‘Me Time, Ponder over emotions and decisions to make’. Ending this post but beginning 2018 with the quote by Audrey Hepburn: “The most important thing is to enjoy your life - to be happy - it's all that matters.”

audrey hepburn quotes

Saturday, December 30, 2017

All I want for Christmas

There are many unwritten wishes
On this blank page

I am going to be selfish
By not wishing for “You”

All I want for Christmas is
Peace for my mind

Let it come in any form
Death would too be embraced
Of my emotions
From attachments
Especially “You”

All I want for Christmas is
Peace for my Soul!

It is a week after Christmas but this was pending on 25th December – a day which also marks my blogiversary.

I am astonished it has been 7 years since I am here. I have kept this place alive even though I had been MIA many times.

I have always been true about writing my emotions. My heartful thank to each one of you and to the few who have consistently read and “understood” between the lines.

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Crossroads, again!