Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Day 10 – Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

letter to a friend

Dear J,

First of all, my apologies to you. I am really sorry I didn't give a positive reply to your message which was only for my concern. I am sorry how badly it ended. I won't say our friendship is no more because you still are my friend.

It was not my ego of not replying back to you but I was and still am afraid to disclose how vulnerable I am with that 'specific' topic. I just couldn't type anything or say a thank you for the concern. I couldn't say that I was depressed and the thoughts of escaping and death had made themselves guest inside my head which were so so difficult to get rid of.

We are all bond with multiple relationships and not a single entity. But most of the time we give up everything for 'them' and swallowing our own thoughts and freedom. I gave in and still giving in. I couldn't gather any courage to go against the so-called norms.

The thread of that one relation is spiraled haphazardly which cannot be set free. To set it free it has to be cut. I have no courage to cut it. I am taking one day at a time.

Kindly read this because you were the main reason I found my art in writing. I want to talk with you. Whenever we met we turned into Gossip girls.

I recall all the memories of college, common room, OPDs. And the most memorable was the graduation day as if we were the only one to be graduating. We had absolute fun.

I gave in for 'others' and I gave up on 'someone'. I am trying to reach out to you via this letter that I miss you. I really hope you are doing very well in your life.

A friend and always will be.

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